Head of Interaction and Service Design at @DigitalDWP
9 Funny Spam Emails
WHY DO THEY DO IT
For years now I have wondered why spammers spam. When I first ventured on to the internet back in the day I used to get funny spam emails by everyone and everything, more so by shops that I would never buy a thing from. Over the years the spammers have seemed to become un-educated idiots sending out unsolicited garbage to people who don’t want to listen to their drivel. But a lot of them are funny spam emails.
Some people are still falling for the scams that these spam mails entail, come on people if someone is called Roger Digeridoo from flippin Nigeria and his Grandad made millions and it’s locked in a bank in the Ivory Coast do you think it’s true!!! Fair play to them, they are probably locked up in a box in the middle of a desert somewhere tied to a chair churning out the same rubbish into an email all day, every day but please the other million people and ME ESPECIALLY do not want your constant spam-garbage!
THE FUNNY SPAM EMAILS
I am not sure if people are trying to tell me something, but everytime I receive an email like those in my recycle bin I start to feel less of a man and have to seek Jen for a reassurance that everything is A-OK! Where do the spammers get such personal information!?
On a serious note, why on earth do the spammers just spam these days about bloody viagra!? Is it the best drug in the world to make money from?
I am sure it isn’t, so why waste time filling up my inbox with such turd! I am sure singing in the street, dancing round like a prat would make you more money.
MY REPLY TO PEOPLE WHO SEND ME FUNNY SPAM EMAIL
I recently received a set of emails from a scammer who was looking to purchase a few of my domain names that I have up for sale, after a slight glitch in the guys English I thought I would begin corrective dialogue with this wretched little soul and things went a little bit like this…
? If you buy them both now for ?10000 I will provide you with the world renowned gummy bear juice with the domain names sent straight to your door. The Gummy Bear juice issues you with super bouncing power that you can use to scam other people with your profound Swahili antics! ?
Funny that he didn’t reply, I would have actually spent the £1.75 on a bottle of Ribena just to see him start hopping around like a mad-man thinking it was real.
Jen then received an email from a Roger Geewhiz who needed to get to his 850’000’000 dollars, and all of her personal details, a picture and a cheque from her to get the money released. We both had a bit of a giggle at how we could reply to the said scammer and came up with;
? I can only do this if I produce Gummy Bear Juice but I don’t have any… can you help me? Bonsoir. p.s. As a Teacher I feel the need to tell you that your English skills need addressing… I will be pleased to help you with this for a charge of 950’000’000 dollars per hour. I feel this is a reasonable amount due to the weak dollar or alternatively you quid quit the scamming that no-one falls for as we have more brains than you and your scamming friends have rubbed together and get yourself a REAL job, stop scamming the general public.
Best Regards Retard
Your 4 Legged Sister from Shanghai ?
AN END NOTE
Please stop wasting your time and spamming me and everyone else, I only have so much time in the day to think of a story and reply to you! 🙂