Over the years I've documented changes in my work and personal life. It helps me explore the way I think about things and motivate me forwards in to whatever is next.
This, The Rebuild, is no different and whilst things may look a little different around here this piece of writing isn't about that. That will come at another time.
The last 6 months have been different for everyone.
At the end of 2019 I doubt any of us though that our lives would look the way they do now.
In February 2020 when I visited the city of Rome I didn't think much of coronavirus other than being temperature checked arriving at the airport.
But, things have changed quite considerably since arriving back in to the UK.
At DWP Digital we were asked to start working from home a few days before the whole country went into national lockdown.
Throughout my career I've worked remotely for companies in the UK or around the world, I thought working from home would be a doddle but with the addition of the lockdown I noticed in the first few weeks that my mental health was suffering. Ordinarily I'd use the gym and weight lifting as my positive mental health attributor but that was closed. I tried running but I'm not much of a runner so wasn't overly invested in that. I tried a few HIIT workouts on YouTube which were ok but I wasn't totally invested.
We sat down at home and talked about things, I started taking Vitamin D and the combination of both talking and the vitamins was great. I felt back to normal. I found a new YouTube channel by Jordan Yeoh with some great workouts and that was me, all in, doing two HIIT workouts a day.
And then something happened.
I finished a workout, showered and got back to work. Within a couple of hours I couldn't move my left leg. It was in serious pain and I couldn't move it properly.
I did what I'd usually do and said that it would get better by itself.
I was wrong, it got worse.
I then fell through the decking in the garden and damaged it even more.
I know now that I had torn the lateral collateral ligament and have quite possibly damaged the meniscus. 4 months later, I'm only just starting to get better and able to be more mobile. My knee has its good and bad days but at least I can exercise again.
Something else happened too, my alcohol consumption went way up in comparison to pre-lockdown.
I've spoken to lots of people who've said the same thing. They're drinking alcohol more now than they ever have. Needless to say that with being unable to lift weights, being completely immobile for nearly two months and drinking more my muscle mass decreased and my weight increased. Nothing too out of control but enough for me to feel uncomfortable and I have hit a period of low self-confidence.
And this is why I want to rebuild. I watched a video yesterday by Brian (TrueGeordie), a fellow Geordie with a fantastic YouTube channel. He made a video called The Rebuild talking about his own struggles with mental health, physical exercise and diet. It resonated a lot.
My gym is now back open and I'm able to do home workouts, to a certain degree. There's always time for change and the time is now.
I want to rebuild, I want to become strong and confident again.
I'm looking forward to the journey.